About Me

The last in a line of hereditary rulers of Kafiristan, His Excellency Sheikh Ahmed al-Hadad al-Mawrid al-Hassan Emir al-Kafirun was born into an ancient culture on the verge of revolutionary change.

When the Sheikh was just nine years old, his mother died in a tragic hunting accident while on safari in Africa; shot seventeen times by her companions who mistook her for a hippopotamus as she emerged from the jungle. Within three years, his father also died tragically from an unfortunate overdose of barbiturates, amphetamines, opiates and alcohol combined with a single unintentional gunshot to the head. At the tender age of twelve, Sheikh Ahmed ascended to his father’s position as Emir. Never before had so great a responsibility fallen on one so woefully unprepared.

The new Emir set out at once to modernize the tiny landlocked principality. He instituted new laws banning the traditional burqa and replacing it with the tight sweaters and cigarette skirts that were in vogue in the West at the time. He tore down the mosques that cluttered the ancient capital and built cocktail lounges, cinemas, discothèques, bowling alleys and brothels in their place. He also built many new roads to accommodate his fleet of luxury automobiles and a new international airport for the royal jumbo-jetliner. The young Emir pledged to turn his beloved city, Dar al-Kufr, into a glittering oasis in the desert.

But to the uneducated and uncultured Kafir people, whose ancient economy was based on camel-dung trading, these radical advancements were simply unappreciated. Communist agents infiltrated the countryside to foment a revolt among the ignorant peasants. Capitalist-imperialist agents infiltrated the rapacious aristocracy and the power-hungry military to plot a coup. Faced with the choice of losing his beloved country or his beloved wealth, the Emir took the only honorable course and fled the country with the assistance of the U.S. and her NATO allies.

For several years, the Emir lived lavishly thanks to the generous support of many good friends among the noble houses of Europe. He took up residence in Paris, then Monaco and later London before finally settling in the United States. In Hollywood, he tried his hand at acting; landing small but powerful roles such as Taxi Cab Driver #4 in the Zelman-Mendelsohn production “Burlesque Beauties Take Manhattan.” Spellbound by his newfound passion for the industry, the Emir poured the last remnants of his depleted family fortune into film-making. He directed several short films under the alias Al Hadaddy; most notably “Arabesque Sun Worshipers” and “Debauched Daughters of the Desert.”

After some limited success with shorts, he tried his hand at features. The Emir’s films targeted the exploitation market and spanned two decades of work from nudie-cuties (e.g. "Hollywood Harem Girls" and “The Naughty Camel”) to blaxploitation (e.g. “Harlem Harem Girls” and “The Naughty Black Camel”). The Emir composed and recorded original scores for all of his films along with his band “All Hadaddy and the Sheiks.” The band recorded several albums and proved to be moderately successful on the Hollywood swingers’ scene regularly playing local burlesque and go-go clubs as well as the occasional bar mitzvah.

Although his films received some critical praise for their “unintelligible dialog,” and “inexplicable use of ordinary suburban homes masquerading as exotic locales,” the Emir’s production company never turned a profit and he was forced to abandon his passion for directing. However, his band continued to play well into the 1980s and there has been recent talk of a reunion concert along with a revival of his films.

Unfortunately, the Emir’s genius has been unrecognized by a wider audience and his contributions to film and music have been mostly squandered by an ungrateful public. Once the very epitome of the bon vivant lifestyle of the international jet set, the Emir al-Kafirun now languishes in exile; forcibly separated from his family, his friends and his fortune. The opulence with which he once surrounded himself has been reduced to a sparsely furnished apartment, an old television and a second-hand laptop. The seemingly endless stream of paramours and the adoring crowds that once clamored for a mere glimpse of the Emir have now been replaced by a small but loyal group of MySpace “friends”… such as his confidant and advisor Tom Anderson.

A virtual prisoner in a cultural wasteland today, the Emir is left only with fond memories of times past. Through Deviant-tv.net he seeks to escape, to share his obsessions with you, and, of course, to entertain himself.